Saturday, February 7, 2009

Meet the Jumpers


BN : We Have the Majority
PUTRAJAYA: Barisan Nasional said it commands the majority needed to form the government in Perak while Pakatan Rakyat persisted in its attempts to dissolve the state assembly and call for fresh elections to stave off a Barisan take-over.

At a press conference here Wednesday, Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said he would be seeking an audience with Sultan Azlan Shah in a day or two to inform him of Barisan’s ability to form the new state government.

(The Star Newspaper)

The situation is bad, a mass amount of Proton Perdana Executives are on their way towards the Perak Fortress, and it is only a matter of time, matter of action, on what the Perak Chief Minister can do to defend!

Secretary : Sir Sir!!! Urgent news... they seized our state gate and they are on their way...! They are going to siege through our fortress!
Minister : What?! How is that even possible?
Secretary : Possible sir! Some of our MPs have crossed over to our enemies! This is bad!!!
Minister : Oh yeah... lets see about that! Bring out the bucks and buy them back, and buy an additional 3 more MPs from them!

1 hour later, the transaction passes on

Secretary : It is working! It's working!!! They are falling back!
Minister : You see... i know some day our tin mine at Kinta will come in handy..

1 hour later, the transaction passes on again!

Secretary : This is bad... the enemy has bought all the MPs we bought together with additional of 20 more MPs, they have the federal government backing up! This is not fair!
Minister : Well yeah! Use up all resources, from Kinta, Taiping, Pasir Salak, and anything at all, channel them into buying all possible MPs from the whole Malaysia... i ain't gonna lose this game!

3 hours later, the huge transaction passes on!

MPs : We are all here to support you to continue governing Perak... we didnt have confident with our former party.
Minister : Yes i know that very well.. go on make a press conference, tell them what you feel! your aspiration in this new party!

1 hour later
another transaction went by...
then at the press conference...
Today, the Barisan government has reported that they had the majority, a spur 1 hour just after the Pakatan Rakyat announced that they had more MPs than what they initially had to sustain the power in Perak.

The Jumper! Special beings elected as Member of Parliament who possesses the power to appear in any party at all... and we got some comments from the public!

Professor Harold : I am not too sure how the Jumpers appear in different different party.. perhaps their genes were genetically modified.
Uncle near Masjid Jamek : Aiyah.. the Jumpers are surely motivated by money.. nothing more than that.. look at me i am rushing to meet my client... don't you think i am motivated by money?
Auntie in KLCC : The Jumpers are the supreme being, they have to be caught, tortured, until they spit out their capability to teleport between parties!
School Boy : I wanna be a Jumper some day! They are so cool...
and of course... we made it on time for the press conference. This are what the Jumper capable MPs that were said to have hopped to the Pakatan Rakyat have to say...with their moniker of course!

Jumping MP :
I think i regret joining the other party, i mean what benefit i get... and i know my heart will always be with the former party..
Hopping MP :
I didn't like the toilet here.. so... uh huh... i am going back.. tataz!
Swapping MP :
I will serve the people for money... and i think my decision is clearly rationale.
Skipping MP :
I attended the Chinese New Year open house for this party quite recently, didn't quite like it... their food is not my forte... i am going back.
Teleporting MP :
Who said i jumped to this party? Who said? I was merely strolling around the building appreciating the wonderful architecture... i am so disappointed with those accusations.
Burrowing MP :
Ahh.. the Pakatan Rakyat got free food or not? No... got free petrol or not? No... Then i am sure i made it clear... i didn't intend to jump at all.. it was merely a mistake. I am with my party now! And i mean it!
Dreamy MP :
"I was paid to switch to Pakatan Rakyat" (I was also paid to switch back, but not telling =P)
Switching MP :
Party hopping reminds me of Counterstrike, where you can switch between Counter Terrorist and Terrorist. Obviously you wanna join the winning team right?
Portalling MP :
At the very hour i hopped to the Pakatan, i felt something strange in me, sort of like a sense of duty for the people (in mind: my house, my car, my luxuries, will they be secured?) , i felt a sense of going back to my home party... and now i am.. i am really grateful!
Dimension MP :
Don't get me wrong... but my photo on the Pakatan website is horrible.. so i switch back.. fair enough?
MPs in unison against Pakatan : We are the Jumper MPs.. leave the office at once!

The state of Perak is in bad shape, anything can happen any minute.... who is the legitimate Chief Minister? Who is the one actually having the say or decide who should serve the people? Time will tell...

3 comments:

sulinn said...

lol. hahahahaha. i like dreamy MP. Wei, Taiping's money is for us Taiping folks k. DUn mess with taiping or we'll poison all the food u eat! Not like its halal for u guys anyway but then again..dun mess with Taiping folks!!

Deus-Misereatur said...

Dude...please, repair the spelling! And punctuation! But, it's funny. Haha. It pretty much summarizes our political situation nowadays, I guess.
*Sighs*

Anbin said...

Nice work man! Jumper!