Crewness Travel Tour : Putrajaya

CTT, Crewness Travel Tour takes a group of tourist around Malaysia's Intelligent Garden City, Putrajaya.
Tour Leader : Welcome welcome! Welcome to Putrajaya, Malaysia's Intelligent Garden City and also Malaysia's Federal Administrative state! First thing first, why is it intelligent? Because it is so smart, all the houses here are equipped with the latest technology, CCTV, high speed internet connection, you name it. Then why is it a garden? Just look around you, it looks like a garden to you right? Right....
Tourist : Ermmm... can i ask? As i read in the tourism booklet, it said that Putrajaya used to be an oil palm estate. So how does it transformed into a mega city like this? I was just wondering...
Tour Leader : That's a very good question my dear friend. First of all, you may be wondering why is there a huge lake around here when it's an oil palm estate. The answer is simple, we in Malaysia love to be the pioneer of breaking the orthodox and also to be noticed in the eyes of the world. So, what we did was, from a flat land, we dug a hole, filled some water over it, and built a bridge over it. Does it make sense to you? From a flat land, we dug a hole, filled some water over it, and built a bridge over it... (Wait does this even make any sense?) ...
Tourist : Isn't that abit...
Tour Leader : Okay okay! Move on move on...!

Tourist : What is that? That looks like a nuclear missile?!
Tour Leader : Exactly... Malaysia has been keeping a low profile. We have actually been storing our nukes behind the scene, sooner or later we will become the next superpower. (Gosh.. but i have no idea why they hide it behind a missile like sculpture?). Well as you have noticed, that we have been told that our economy is still growing despite other nations are undergoing recession, so we are one step closer towards becoming the next world power! Our Prime Minister is actually adopting the "act pig eat tiger" trick. Be humble at the beginning and start the game later on. When the world is in peril, that one and only nuclear weapon in missile will be used! But i heard we paid 5 times the original price to get this nuke.


Tourist : Why are there so many mosques here? They are just 100m away from each other?
Tour Leader : Nope that building looks like a mosque, but it ain't. It's the Prime Minister's Office! Just like your Washington White House!
Tourist : Errm... then why are there kids playing in front of the PM office? Are those his wife and kids? Shouldn't the PM office be dealing with the country's affair or everything serious?
Tour Leader : Yes you are correct! But our PM yearns to take one step ahead, which is to allow public to have some fun in front of his office. With that he can get a bird's eye view of the people's mood. If the people there are unhappy, then he will know that his policies are somewhat weird, if the people are happy, then okay~ proceed with the policy! So it's like a test drive thingy...

Tourist : Why are there telephone booths around the plaza area? What in the world?
Tour Leader : It is not weird at all, Malaysia is a unique country. We love fusing stuff together in order to innovate and introduce new technologies to the world! We have this phone booth in the middle of no where which will be a good idea in the eyes of the world, and after all since they already built a pole, might as well stuff in a public telephone.... you wouldn't wanna miss a chance of making money aren't ya.

Tourist : Oh my god, what creature is that?
Tour Leader : Do not worry, there is nothing to be afriad of! That is called the Dugong Putra which can only be found in Putrajaya and it is also part of the beautification plan of Putrajaya. Because you know, before Putrajaya was created, it was a Palm Estate. After they chop off the trees, they found that they have chased the wild animals away. So, they initiated a project to CREATE a new species which is the Dugong Putra to balance up the food chain. Why? Because no animal would wanna live here, it's so blazing hot and concrety which doesn't feels like the good ol' forest. Don't worry, it doesn't bite, it feeds on water only. Ain't it something cute?? (I can't imagine how much money was spent on that...) err.. okay moving on..


Tourist : Is that boat ride part of our program? I really wish it would be... can we have a ride on it?
Tour Leader : No No! It's not included... and even if you want to, it is not encouraged! The boat ride itself costs RM100 per head for a round trip around the city. Imagine what can you see on a man made lake? Nothing but man made fishes, like the Dugong Putra. Plus it is just the same anywhere at all? I think the bus ride will do you just good! Don't even think about it, even if you are disturbed...

Tourist : That bridge is really eccentric and ornate.. but what does it actually reflects? Particularly any Malaysian culture?
Tour Guide : I really got no idea at all... futuristic you may say, perhaps to reflect that we Malaysians are producing more and more robots(graduates) for our future generation?

*This article of "Crewness Travel Tour : Putrajaya" is merely a satire. Putrajaya is Malaysia's vibrant administative capital, for the serious stuff check out wikipedia.