Crewness

5 Reasons Why You Wouldn't Want a Green Team in your College

2009-04-23T00:35:00.000-07:00

EARTH DAY
5 Reasons Why You Wouldn't Want a Green Team in your College

Food Assault

The Green Team will assault all the hawker stalls and restaurants nearby by destroying all polystyrene, plastic cutlery, etc etc... A huge lost to the food industry which will lead to the their exit, and result in no choice in dining selection.

"Gime all the polystyrene NOW! Hand them all to me! You shall not take away your food!" (Grabs the polystyrene packagings, throwing them onto the floor, and stomps them)

Blazing Hot

The Green Team will at time hijack into the power room and destroy the air condition operation. If they like, they might even break all lights around the college making sure there is no usage of electricity at all... after all to them, how many uses the education facilities in the night except some "cheeky" people.

"The college is built with windows around for ventilation... i don't see any purpose of turning on the air condition... as part of the Green Team... i am going to wreck any form of energy leeching appliances!"

Advertise Not

Colleges frequently post notice around using papers and to the non-environmental conscious unlike the Green Team, to them any paper that is use for the second time is called used paper. The problem is that the Green Team will march around college tearing off any advertising paper on events, new facilities, announcements, and so on.. To them, recycling them and producing a brand new paper is more liable than spamming unnecessary advertisement around campus.

(We weren't able to interview the Green Team as we can only see them tearing off all the paper notice around campus... even the certificates of faculties... )

Earth Hour a Week

This will definitely incite protest among the students but gain the support of the college administration. The Green Team will definitely suggest a weekly Earth Hour to set awareness among students on the serious environmental situation today. The administration which intend to save cost will definitely support this idea or maybe even propose it to be daily and at a 'non-voluntary' basis.

"I think the Earth Hour is a great idea to save energy, and by doing so we can make a different. I know other colleges may think that we are a sad college by doing so... but hey look down the road, and we are actually helping you to enjoy the future! Well... if other colleges doesn't wanna do the same, i will propose this to the Ministry and i am sure they will turn this into a Dead Earth Hour... that was what i told other colleges student council, and they straight away adept to it"

Green Knight Patrol

The Green Knight Patrol is the most fearful authority... it patrols around making sure students doesn't litter around. Worse of all, they even make the students around campus to either recycle or re-use the rubbish instead of disposing into the garbage.

"The Green Knight Patrol is to enforce a conducive environment instilling love for the environment... What is the point of keeping the environment clean by disposing into the garbage, you are actually harming it when it gets to the wasteland... So we make sure that students either recycle or reuse them!"

Imaginary Conversation Between 2 Storywriters.

2009-04-01T08:51:00.000-07:00

The topic says everything, so no introduction needed, no beating around the bush, no nothing. Just straight to the point. Let's call the two storywriters as A and B for a certain movie *cough*Knowing*cough*.

A: Hey, it's getting harder to make a good story that everyone likes nowadays la. The audience is getting smarter n smarter, its like they've developed exquisite ability to predict the storyline. We can't give them a surprise!!! I even heard that in one movie called "infections", the audience laughed at that show, but its a horror movie! How how? Any idea a?

B: No problem. We just simply give them something in the plot, which appears to be an important clue to all the mystery, but ends up with no importance whatsoever. Yea, what say u a stone? We shall make it that someone creepy gives the Chosen One a bloody stone. It'll make people think that the stone is friggin' important. And whazza, bam, whush, the stone ends up being just a stone!!! Yea, that'll get them going. Yea!

A: Wow! You're good! You're da man, man! But we're doing mystery then? Audience smarter and cleverer nowadays la! What can we do to make them captivated?

B: Hm, looking at the trends these past few years, people like horror(Ju-on, The Ring, name ur pick), mystery( numb3rs, da vinci code, pink panther, name ur pick), end of the world type(I am legend) and many more. So we just put everything interesting into one movie. We shall make a movie about Armageddon coming, aliens, horror, people dying, prophecy, and everything! Yea! We're gonna make a movie about everyone going to die according to a prophecy - written in numbers of course -, and a hero that is going to solve the mystery and save the world! Yea!

A: Wow! You're God, man! But then the story will be predictable also wat. Everyone will know that the main hero will save everyone.

B: Elementary. We'll just have to make it as though the Armageddon is inevitable, no matter how hard the "hero" does, he'll NEVER save the world. Ha! How's tat? In the end, everyone dies, Earth dies, and the alien brings some of the humans to another planet! HAHAHAHAHA. I'm a genius! Yea!

A: Goodness gracious, this movie's a masterpiece lah. We'll sure hit it big now. Yey! But our budget's limited. And since the casting wants Nic Cage as the main protagonist, and factor in the CGI department's payroll, we're short on cash to hire a good female protagonist. How ah? Plus, we haven't sort out the female protagonist's characters. How how how??

B: Tsk, no matter. We can simply pick one aspiring actress out of the lot. They'll be more than happy to appear in a blockbuster movie of the year!!! RAWR! And about the characters, we have more than enough share of courageous, witty, knowledgeable, and impressive heroines of late. The audience has got bored with them all. What say you we make a totally annoying and paranoid heroine. That'll win us the Oscar for Best Picture, I daresay! Yea!

A: Wow, you ARE a genius lah! Pro pro!

B: Yea! Hahaha! Let's drink to the success of this film. Yea!

Earth Hour

2009-03-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

Crewness Thesis : 3 Reasons Why Are We Celebrating Earth Hour

We at Crewness State University are excited about Earth Hour, and thinks that a thorough research on it should be done. We have compiled the reasons on why Earth Hour should be celebrated and gotten some views from the public!

Show Your Gratitude to The Robots

We have Mother's Day, Father's Day to show our gratitude to our parents. We have Merry Christmas Day to remember to birth of Christ. We have the Labor Day, to let labors rest for their hard work. Earth Hour is technically a Robot Day, where we let our machines rest. But the fact that they are robots, that's why we are only giving them an hour.

Hiding from the Third Kind
Scientists and Astronomers have discovered that a mysterious alien is wandering around our solar system and the only solution to avoid being invaded is to play dead. Switch off all your lights and power, so we Earth will look like a dead planet, like any other planets. Well you may say, what if the aliens saw the daylight part of Earth? Well let's just say we are betting a 50:50 chance!

Of Dollars, Cents, and Pacts
Some theorists has investigated the fishiness of Earth Hour. By tracing back to its root, it was organized by the World Wildlife Fund and was first done in Sydney. It is a known fact, that to lead all you have to lead through example, and WWF has accumulated the entire globe to follow likewise. Within the 1 hour light shutdown, who knows what is going to happen? Robbers closed deal with WWF to initiate their plan, labor union made a pact with WWF to get 1 hour night off, parenting association made an agreement with WWF to force their kids home for 1 hour, and so on? Ofcourse the pacts come with a price to pay. It's a lucrative business...

To support this thesis, we got point of views from the public as well...

Crewness asks:
Will you celebrate Earth Hour tonight?
Chong : Oh yeah, sure sure, its a cool event, everybody is doing it, and i think i should do it too, to show my support, yeah its cool its cool... i am so gonna turn my lights off at 8:30pm and hop onto the cyber cafe till late night.. ofcourse with my new boosted 3.0 Ceffiro.
Misha : Yeah, i was like anticipating event ini la... dan my fren and i plan to enjoy our night at the neighbourhood rock your Earth Hour, they are going to have loud musics, performances, laser lightings... can't wait for it!
Binbin : I will switch off my lights at 8:30pm and sleep...

Crewness asks:
So how are you going to spread Earth Hour? Since you know it, i am sure there are some who don't.
Chong : Yeah i know, especially my colleagues, they are ignorant people... I thought of it, i would print full laser colored posters, as papers are free in my office right. With that, i will paste them around. With the colorful pictures there, i am sure they will notice it.
Misha : I am going to urge them! You shall not consume power unnecesarily! They should not simply send SMSes. I remember i read somewhere that 100 SMses sent could power a bike! How to do it? Ofcourse through SMSes....
Binbin : Oh yeah, i am not going to turn off my laptop, and i am going to leave a personal message on my Facebook and Windows Messenger as "If you are reading this message now, you are a dick, you have commited sin against Earth!"

Crewness crews were also having a tough time conducting this research, due to Google's initiative on Earth Hour...

What do you think about Earth Hour? What have you done on Earth Hour? Did you support? Why so?

Truth and Lie : Garden Lake in the City

2009-03-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

Truth and Lie : Garden Lake in the City

The Dying Lie : What the? A lake in the middle of a bustling city? No way! Yes way unless you are having eye sore.
The natural lake in the middle of the city is an asset to city dwellers. Urban planners have carefully drafted their plan to not touch this lake. Why? It acts as a natural cooling system for the city, the frontier in the fishing industry, providing leisure for family to spend some time together.
This is truly a remarkable landmark which the future generation must preserve!

The Dying Truth : Note the square space. It was supposed to be a complex with basement. Dive into the lake and you can find the building's scaffold, junks, cements, trolleys, plastics, etc., ie. a discovery of a lost civilization.
In short, it's an empty dug abandoned project filled up with rain water. After all it's much more expensive to fill up the dug land area, might as well release a fish or two and turn it into a lake.

Truth and Lie : Drug Another Day

2009-03-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

Truth and Lie : Drug Another Day

The Dying Lie : The message this advertisement is trying to convey is the fact that drugs are dangerous so "don't do drugs" or "say no to drugs".

The Dying Truth : The photo was taken after those school kids accepted the drugs and go, "Thanks bro! tomorrow same time alright?" and converted it into an 'anti-drug' advertisement.
After all it's awesomely low cost and effective right?

The Razor Tooth Fairy

2009-03-02T23:56:00.000-08:00

Random Quote #1
The Razor Tooth Fairy

" You know what i would like to do to you? I feel like taking this pen, knocking off your front teeth, and i am so gonna sell those teeth to feed myself a good lunch. And you? Without your front teeth, you can't have your lunch.... "

This quote is ... disturbing? scary? or what do you think?

Yummy Banana WORM Bread

2009-02-28T07:37:00.000-08:00

Tired of gardenia bread roll every morning???
Why not change into a unique and healthier diet ?
Banana worm bread for breakfast , anyone?
(calls for 1/4 cup dry-roasted army worms - yum!),
Eating insects or worms may not be a taboo anymore in many parts of the world as a lot of country practice this eating habit ( eg : Thailand , Philippines ...) as insects contain protein and other nutrients that are good for us.

Unfortunately, i do not think i will be frying any worms ( or insects ) in my frying pan or bake 'em in my oven for anytime soon ...(.more likely...never?!)
For those brave-soul out there, check the 'special' recipes below :

Mealworm Chocolate Chip Cookies

1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup white sugar

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup all purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 cup oats

1/2 cup chocolate chips

1/4 cup mealworm flour

Cream butter well, then mix in sugar, egg, vanilla flour, salt, baking soda, chocolate chips, oats, and mealworm flour. Drop batter by the teaspoonful on a greased cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees farenheit. This recipe doesn't have much in the way of palpable insect content, but is an excellent way to introduce others (or yourself!) to entomophagy. Even many rather squeamish people will try mealworm cookies, since the cookie format doesn't look "gross" to most people, and since it is rather difficult to actually taste the mealworms, though they enrich the cookie with a somewhat nutty flavor and extra protein.

Ant Brood Tacos

2 tablespoons butter or peanut oil

1/2 pound ant larvae and pupae

3 serrano chilies, raw, finely chopped
1 tomato, finely chopped
Pepper and Cumin, to taste
Oregano, to taste
1 handful cilantro, chopped
Taco shells, to serve

Heat the butter or oil in a frying pan and fry the larvae or pupae. Add the chopped onions, chilies, and tomato, and season with salt. Sprinkle with ground pepper, cumin, and oregano, to taste. Serve in tacos and garnish with cilantro. (Not living in an area exceptionally prolific with ants, I have never been able to try this recipe. But it sounds perfectly delicious!

Some most be wondering, where can we get all those 'custom-made' ingredient? Do we have to go dig 'em up the the back yard ? Well, since we can get like EVERYTHING online, i found a list of places to buy edible insects online. You can buy everything from Roasted Pregnant Crickets to Cheddar Cheese-Flavored Worms to Scorpion Vodka ("this special triple distilled vodka is infused with a real farm raised Heterometrus Spinifer scorpion").

Here i quote one the famous line from a friend :
' an ordinary life is a crime'

so guys , Bon appetit!

The Day the Cars Stood Still

2009-02-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

Toppled Crane Causes Traffic Nightmare in Penang

GEORGE TOWN: A 30-tonne hydraulic crane toppled over at the 3rd kilometre of the Penang Bridge, causing one of the bridge’s worst traffic snarls.

Roads leading to the bridge on the island and mainland were choked with traffic as thousands of motorists reported late for work while many missed their flights.....

The Star Newspaper

Behold Malaysia's most expensive, latest movie blockbuster, and also the most anticipated disaster movie ever filmed right here in Malaysia, " The Day The Cars Stood Still, the obliterating crane at the bridge "... 100% locally made!

"We spent approximately RM50 million to produce this movie, and you may ask where we get the money from? Its from your taxes!" says the producing director, Mr. Samad.

Superb stunts and effects of the toppled crane on the bridge. Special scenes include bridge tremor, earthquake, shaky bridges and cars, and many more!

"We are definitely not interested in conventional ideas, so we love to try something different... we did not use any CGI for the action scene, but we used actual models which only those lucky ones get to witness it this morning." says the effect director, Mr. Beng.

The story..... Bakar a village boy who has completed his high school studies in Kampung Berang and intended to migrate to George Town, Penang's Capital City for a job in order to support his family. While he was on the bus on the way to George Town via the Penang Bridge, a giant crane toppled in the middle of the bridge. As the cars stood still and the bridge began to divide itself, survivals struggle to escape the havoc. So, can Bakar cross the bridge, cheat death and reach GeorgeTown safely and become the next millionaire? Or return back to the mainland and suffer!

"We assembled the best scriptwriter for this movie.... errrmm we got it from Cicakman... ermmmm we got it from ehhh Scenario... we also got one supporting character from "The Day The Earth Stood Still" so he can tell us his experience... That's how we get inspired to come up with that great plot!" says Chief Scriptwriter, Mr. Danny.

"I actually came out with the logical idea, what if Bakar took the ferry? And Mr. Danny fired me right after that...." says Ex-Assistant Scriptwriter, Mr. Oliver.

March 2009, Only in Cinemas!

Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T07:23:00.001-08:00

Why Valentine's Day Rocks...

At the current rate of job lost and depression. Valentine's Day will save our economy! Roses everywhere which means people will go all out to get the cheapest rose which burns more energy and fuel rendering the need for more food and gas. Condom sales will go up which means the rubber tappers will not have to cry around, more chocolate sales which means more diabetic and fattening which contributes to the expansion of hospitals and gymnasiums, and so on... For each $ you spend, you are building a better future for the both of you, so why not start investing for your future now?! Beautiful right?

So.. Crewness is introducing an Economic Stimulus Valentine Sale
with the main objective on revitalizing the economy and also for the people on-the-move!

1) Stimulus Package 'Insignificant' (to the economy and your partner's feeling)
Chocolate for just RM 3
2) Stimulus Package 'Lite'
Roses + Bear + Chocolate Bar for only RM 100
3) Stimulus Package 'Standard'
Roses + Chocolate Roses + Bear + Valentine Meal for 2 for only RM 450

4) Stimulus Package 'Heavy Duty'
Couple Tees + Couple Watches + Couple Mugs + Couple Laptops + Couple Cars + The One Chair + The One Ice Cream for only RM 50000++
or in other words...
Buy 1 free 1 for Tees, Mugs, Laptops, and Cars + The One Chair + The One Ice Cream for only RM 50000++

It is estimated that more than 5000 jobs will be created and spending will increase by 50 times. Sounds like a good deal? Nevermind the price but think of it as an investment for your future!

For the bachelors, today is the day you get to know each other well. And let's hope that they are not primed by the couples at every corner which cause a further step to be taken! But instead take that as a realization... you need an opposite sex companion!

Why Valentine's Day Sucks...

Gift shops, restaurants, etc etc will greet you Happy Valentine's Day, even if you are single and they will charge you one flat nett Valentine Special Price. On top of that, darn its full house everywhere, from the movies to the dining plate... You can't question them, the couples are the kings of the day!

It's not a public holiday in Malaysia... enough said!

Why Valentine's Day is just another day...
It is indeed another day. If i screw up in front of my girlfriend today or on a normal day, she will still leave me tomorrow. So what difference does it make? except for a double damage...

and that is when a dog covered with blood will come running around to give you a reminder "Control your anger!" if anything happens^^

at the end of the day
Happy Valentine's Day and spread the love!

Meet the Jumpers

2009-02-07T04:10:00.000-08:00

BN : We Have the Majority
PUTRAJAYA: Barisan Nasional said it commands the majority needed to form the government in Perak while Pakatan Rakyat persisted in its attempts to dissolve the state assembly and call for fresh elections to stave off a Barisan take-over.

At a press conference here Wednesday, Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said he would be seeking an audience with Sultan Azlan Shah in a day or two to inform him of Barisan’s ability to form the new state government.

(The Star Newspaper)

The situation is bad, a mass amount of Proton Perdana Executives are on their way towards the Perak Fortress, and it is only a matter of time, matter of action, on what the Perak Chief Minister can do to defend!

Secretary : Sir Sir!!! Urgent news... they seized our state gate and they are on their way...! They are going to siege through our fortress!
Minister : What?! How is that even possible?
Secretary : Possible sir! Some of our MPs have crossed over to our enemies! This is bad!!!
Minister : Oh yeah... lets see about that! Bring out the bucks and buy them back, and buy an additional 3 more MPs from them!

1 hour later, the transaction passes on

Secretary : It is working! It's working!!! They are falling back!
Minister : You see... i know some day our tin mine at Kinta will come in handy..

1 hour later, the transaction passes on again!

Secretary : This is bad... the enemy has bought all the MPs we bought together with additional of 20 more MPs, they have the federal government backing up! This is not fair!
Minister : Well yeah! Use up all resources, from Kinta, Taiping, Pasir Salak, and anything at all, channel them into buying all possible MPs from the whole Malaysia... i ain't gonna lose this game!

3 hours later, the huge transaction passes on!

MPs : We are all here to support you to continue governing Perak... we didnt have confident with our former party.
Minister : Yes i know that very well.. go on make a press conference, tell them what you feel! your aspiration in this new party!

1 hour later
another transaction went by...
then at the press conference...
Today, the Barisan government has reported that they had the majority, a spur 1 hour just after the Pakatan Rakyat announced that they had more MPs than what they initially had to sustain the power in Perak.

The Jumper! Special beings elected as Member of Parliament who possesses the power to appear in any party at all... and we got some comments from the public!

Professor Harold : I am not too sure how the Jumpers appear in different different party.. perhaps their genes were genetically modified.
Uncle near Masjid Jamek : Aiyah.. the Jumpers are surely motivated by money.. nothing more than that.. look at me i am rushing to meet my client... don't you think i am motivated by money?
Auntie in KLCC : The Jumpers are the supreme being, they have to be caught, tortured, until they spit out their capability to teleport between parties!
School Boy : I wanna be a Jumper some day! They are so cool...
and of course... we made it on time for the press conference. This are what the Jumper capable MPs that were said to have hopped to the Pakatan Rakyat have to say...with their moniker of course!

Jumping MP :
I think i regret joining the other party, i mean what benefit i get... and i know my heart will always be with the former party..
Hopping MP :
I didn't like the toilet here.. so... uh huh... i am going back.. tataz!
Swapping MP :
I will serve the people for money... and i think my decision is clearly rationale.
Skipping MP :
I attended the Chinese New Year open house for this party quite recently, didn't quite like it... their food is not my forte... i am going back.
Teleporting MP :
Who said i jumped to this party? Who said? I was merely strolling around the building appreciating the wonderful architecture... i am so disappointed with those accusations.
Burrowing MP :
Ahh.. the Pakatan Rakyat got free food or not? No... got free petrol or not? No... Then i am sure i made it clear... i didn't intend to jump at all.. it was merely a mistake. I am with my party now! And i mean it!
Dreamy MP :
"I was paid to switch to Pakatan Rakyat" (I was also paid to switch back, but not telling =P)
Switching MP :
Party hopping reminds me of Counterstrike, where you can switch between Counter Terrorist and Terrorist. Obviously you wanna join the winning team right?
Portalling MP :
At the very hour i hopped to the Pakatan, i felt something strange in me, sort of like a sense of duty for the people (in mind: my house, my car, my luxuries, will they be secured?) , i felt a sense of going back to my home party... and now i am.. i am really grateful!
Dimension MP :
Don't get me wrong... but my photo on the Pakatan website is horrible.. so i switch back.. fair enough?
MPs in unison against Pakatan : We are the Jumper MPs.. leave the office at once!

The state of Perak is in bad shape, anything can happen any minute.... who is the legitimate Chief Minister? Who is the one actually having the say or decide who should serve the people? Time will tell...

I Want You For Malaysia Army

2009-02-04T02:13:00.001-08:00

Armed Forces needs You, says Abdullah
KUALA LUMPUR: The Armed Forces needs the services of the younger generation to ensure the country’s sovereignty is constantly protected.

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said the mindset of the people needed to be changed where a career in the Armed Forces was not just about going to war and doing drills.
Abdullah, who is also Defence Minister, launched a book entitled ATM: Perisai Negara (The Armed Forces: The Nation’s Shield) on the history and successes of the Armed Forces.....

(The Star Newspaper)

Civilian A : Eh eh, today the newspaper reported that Pak Lah who is currently the Defense Minister says that the Armed Forces was not just about going to war and drills. Does this mean if we join it, we will have so much fun?!
Civilian B : Yeah, i really think so man... check out the ads... i heard a new kid at the block got the tender for the Musim Penkonsripkan Tentera (Military Conscription Season) to promote that.

The world is in peril...
The economy is melting... Warheads accumulated all over the world except our nation...
Environmental pollution has begin to gobble up the planet...
While we suffer here and stand aimlessly...
There is only one thing you can do...

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Why not sign up for the Armed Forces!

Where you can bring pride to our nation!

Remember it's not all about wars and drills!

Our nation don't go to war, instead we discuss on the round table...

You don't have to go drilling, we drill the robots..
and when we mention 'not about war and drills'...

We are throwing in your registration with interesting activities...
like mow the lawn, take care of kids, car wash, reading bed time stories, battle of the bands, and so much more...

Remember it is these little things that will change the course of the world...
So what are you waiting for? Sign up now! and get a free 3 days waive off your maximum training course!

"others have registered... have you?"
Join the M'sia army...

KLIA Chain North South East West Plan Extension

2009-02-01T05:13:00.002-08:00

Decision on Labu LCCT Plan Soon
KUALA LUMPUR: The decision on AirAsia’s proposal to build a new low-cost carrier terminal (LCCT) costing RM1.6bil in Labu, Negri Sembilan will be known in two to three weeks’ time, said Transport Minister Datuk Seri Ong Tee Keat.

“Actually, the Government has not made a decision on the matter. What is important is that all the fact-finding and details arising will be scrutinised,” he told Bernama after attending a Chinese New Year dinner function organised by the MCA, here, last night......

(The Star Newspaper)

Assistant : Sir! Air Asia has proposed for an airport at the East of our main airport which is at Labu, and they call it KLIA East @ Labu! They are using our KLIA name when it is 7km away, this is a breach of our brand name! What should we do?! This is a threat to our main airport and also Malaysia Airlines! It will bring doom to our revenue flow!

Transport Minister : Huh really?! This is bad! Air Asia is getting cheeky nowadays with their statistical prediction, what makes them think that they can beat our Malaysia Airlines?! Anyhow e have to do something... what if one day they request for more airports like KLIA WEST @ Banting? KLIA NORTH @ Putrajaya? KLIA SOUTH @ Sungai Pelek? or worse... south east, south west, north east, north west?! and..and... they will propose for another KLIA EAST on the new KLIA EAST if it's really built, then we might even have KLIA EAST NORTH, KLIA EAST SOUTH, and so on!! This is terrible... it's going to be a chain effect! Then our KLIA Central will become another tourist destination!!!

Assistant : Not only that sir! I can forsee the future that more and more airports will be built in Malaysia and it will also jeopardize all of our other transport industries. Then we will all travel around using planes and copters! This has got to stop!

Transport Minister : But isn'tthat a good idea? It is a public transport right? At least less people will opt for cars and instead use this air transport! Then we won't have to crack our head on building those trains around Klang Valley right?!

Assistant : No Sir...have you forgetten? If we do not allow Proton to grow. Master Dr.M will chew our asses! And if we don't put trains moving around Klang Valley, foreigners will think that our city is undeveloped!

Transport Minister : Oh yeah.. i almost forgot about that... what should we do now?!

Assistant : Relax sir, i have actually came out with a solution at the minute i listened to that press conference. What we have to do right now is that we allow them to build KLIA East @ Labu. Let it grow, and as you know our Malaysia Airports' staff are professionals, i am pretty sure they can stage accidents around. Then we just flock in 4-5 staffs for some rating evaluation or stuff like that, at that time we set up the trap and sabotage their facilities! From then onwards, i will leave it to you sir! You are the boss!

KLIA Complete Master Plan by 2020, "An airport in every city"

"Traveling via road will be a thing of history when every city in Malaysia have an airport with the North South East West Plan Extension of KLIA"

"Now everyone can fly anywhere!" - Datuk Tony Fernandes

What is KLIA East @ Labu? It is a proposed international airport to handle Air Asia's future capacity. Should it be built or not?

Eraman

2009-01-29T06:15:00.000-08:00

New Era College Senate Head Punched While Giving Speech
KAJANG: What started out as a happy event turned chaotic at the New Era College convocation. A man went up to the stage as college senate chairman Dr Yap Sin Tian was giving a speech and punched him in the face in front of 500 people, including students, parents and guests....

Crewness Production presents the movie of this year's Chinese New Year!

One Man, who was trained under the grandmaster of Wushu...

will fight for the right of the people...

Eraman, 29/1/2009

Pearl of the Dead

2009-01-22T22:59:00.001-08:00

Making Penang A Pearl Again

GEORGE TOWN: Penang Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng will implement infrastructure projects this year that will unlock the value of state-owned land and equip the state with WiFi and WiMAX to generate revenue for the state during the current economic downturn.

He said for example, the second bridge, when completed, would enhance the value of the state land in Batu Kawan.....

Penang Lauches Free WiFi Despite Opposition

GEORGE TOWN: The Penang Free WiFi project was launched Wednesday as three test sites in the state opened for business.

Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng launched the test-drive promotion period at Komtar saying the state was pushing on with its initiative despite opposition from certain quarters....

“If WiFi is harmful, the first two people to get fried by radiation would be Jelutong MP Jeff Ooi and myself as we work up to 12 hours a day at our offices on Komtar’s 28th floor where there are four hotspots.

(The Star Newspaper)

The Star reported that Chief Minister Lim is going to upgrade Penang into a major tourism destination and to turn the economy around.

One of the initiative taken is to blanket the entire Penang state with wireless service, and that has caused protest among the public due to the risk that it may pose to them...

It is the year 2020...

Radio : Tut Tut... this is Malaysia News. Good Morning i am Fairul Mainuh, with you on Radio 4 News. Penang has been heavily infested by zombies, it seems the side effect of the wireless fidelity has started to take its course. Meanwhile the Prime Minister of Malaysia, YAB Dato' Najib says..

"I want every single frigget' we have sent to obliterate those stinky pebbles!" - PM

Radio : What he meant by every single frigget' are stuffs like our..

"Asimo Robotic Unit" ( that we bought for USD$15.2 billion to disperse protests for 10+1 free robots)

"Malaysian Zombie Tank" ( we have 2, USD$5 billion each)

Radio : Dato' Najib also said that the military investment of the Asimo Troops and the Zombie Tank finally paid off for we can now contain the zombies. He also said he was influenced by games like Left 4 Dead and movies like Resident Evil before he signed the "Anti-Zombie Act"

"I knew a time like this would come, when the people protested about the WiFi in Penang, i can forsee that we human will some day turn among our ownself. With the Zombie Tank and Asimo Troops we can now be proud to be a Malaysian and a leader in the War Against Zombie." - PM

Radio : In the next "LOCAL" news, a robbery occured in the middle of Bangkok City whereby.............

What is Penang? Wiki then...

So what do you think about the WiFi policy? Should the Penang State Government execute it? Yes No?

After such constructive sound like question, just like what you hear in the lecture class, they are already implementing the WiFi, so what is there to argue about? Let's wait for the next generation to come...

Peace of Insanity #001

2009-01-22T07:44:00.000-08:00

My first try at comic...It's bad, I know. Live it it. Hopefully it gets better with time.

The 99cents Store

2009-01-17T09:03:00.000-08:00

Shoplot for Rent - At Only 99sen
GEORGE TOWN: It’s only 99 sen a month – that’s the “AirAsia” rate shop-owners at Pan Palace Plaza in Taman Lip Sin are offering in a bid to revive the commercial centre. And response has been overwhelming. Fifty...

(The Star Newspaper)

The Star Newspaper announced that there is a shopping centre called Pan Palace Plaza in Taman Lip Sin at Penang is charging only 99 cents per month to rent a shop there, incredibly cheaper than drinking a cup of coffee.
Crewness takes a peek at the opening ceremony itself.

Lady A : Eh eh.. i heard there is an offer in front there... at Pan Palace Plaza charging one shop for only 99 cents!
Lady B : Oh really? How come so cheap? Let's skip the market and head there. Shopping season for Chinese New Year... must grab whatever cheap things possible!
Lady A : Let's have a look.
Developer : Calling everyone,! Calling everyone! Today we are going to do a cheap sale. Air Asia is going to do some marketing knick knack for us.... you can own an entire shop for only 99 cents! Do whatever you want as long as you occupy the centre!
Crowd : Whoah whoah so cheap..!
Student : Err Sir! Can i open a "DVD store"! Especially during this period of time, it is very lucrative, i am sure it will help revive this centre!
Developer : Yes! It is people like you that we are looking for, having the will and the vision to achieve success! I see future in your business! As long as you bloat this entire center with people! You are free to do so anything you want!
Man B : I wish to use this 99 cents opportunity to help the homeless, i am going to buy the entire centre, you have roughly 100 shop lots for example? I will toss you RM99! and i will populate this center!
Developer : Yes good one! Then we can automatically have 5000 people in the center daily, and we are on our way in beating the Evil Queesnbay Mall!
Man C : Chinese New Year is closing by, i am going to do my open house here, is that possible? 99 cents only, and there is a 24 hours supermarket and huge parking bay below, very convenient right?
Developer : Not bad! Your open house will definitely come with a lion dance which will help build up the Feng Shui here! I like your idea!
Guy : Errr.... should i put this RM1 note into the donation box right there? or .... ?
Developer : The second sir! Putting into the this centre, will allow you to put in RM100 into that donation box in 1 week, RM1000 in 1 month, RM10000 in 3 months! Sounds like a perfect plan right?!
Lady A : Yaaaa! I am also going to tell my husband! I quit being a housewife and i am going to open my food stall there... After all even if my food sucks, the Penang food psychology will take over the customers mind and i shall be rich RICH rich!!
Developer : Hmmph.. okay... even if you don't have what it takes, i am sure your housewife look will definitely sell! Go ahead!
Lady B : Darn.. my son works in Queensbay Mall's Starbucks Coffee, i cannot allow this to happen! This has to stop! I am buying this entire mall whatever the cost is!!!
Developer : I am afraid you know very well about the no-frills concept of this sale which is similar to Air Asia's, so please do expect extra hidden charges like air condition (RM2 per hour), storage (RM10 per hour), 30% profit to us, we will be counting each head in your shop (RM0.01 per head) and ...

Crewness Travel Tour : Putrajaya

2009-01-07T06:17:00.000-08:00

CTT, Crewness Travel Tour takes a group of tourist around Malaysia's Intelligent Garden City, Putrajaya.
Tour Leader : Welcome welcome! Welcome to Putrajaya, Malaysia's Intelligent Garden City and also Malaysia's Federal Administrative state! First thing first, why is it intelligent? Because it is so smart, all the houses here are equipped with the latest technology, CCTV, high speed internet connection, you name it. Then why is it a garden? Just look around you, it looks like a garden to you right? Right....
Tourist : Ermmm... can i ask? As i read in the tourism booklet, it said that Putrajaya used to be an oil palm estate. So how does it transformed into a mega city like this? I was just wondering...
Tour Leader : That's a very good question my dear friend. First of all, you may be wondering why is there a huge lake around here when it's an oil palm estate. The answer is simple, we in Malaysia love to be the pioneer of breaking the orthodox and also to be noticed in the eyes of the world. So, what we did was, from a flat land, we dug a hole, filled some water over it, and built a bridge over it. Does it make sense to you? From a flat land, we dug a hole, filled some water over it, and built a bridge over it... (Wait does this even make any sense?) ...
Tourist : Isn't that abit...
Tour Leader : Okay okay! Move on move on...!

Tourist : What is that? That looks like a nuclear missile?!
Tour Leader : Exactly... Malaysia has been keeping a low profile. We have actually been storing our nukes behind the scene, sooner or later we will become the next superpower. (Gosh.. but i have no idea why they hide it behind a missile like sculpture?). Well as you have noticed, that we have been told that our economy is still growing despite other nations are undergoing recession, so we are one step closer towards becoming the next world power! Our Prime Minister is actually adopting the "act pig eat tiger" trick. Be humble at the beginning and start the game later on. When the world is in peril, that one and only nuclear weapon in missile will be used! But i heard we paid 5 times the original price to get this nuke.

Tourist : Why are there so many mosques here? They are just 100m away from each other?
Tour Leader : Nope that building looks like a mosque, but it ain't. It's the Prime Minister's Office! Just like your Washington White House!
Tourist : Errm... then why are there kids playing in front of the PM office? Are those his wife and kids? Shouldn't the PM office be dealing with the country's affair or everything serious?
Tour Leader : Yes you are correct! But our PM yearns to take one step ahead, which is to allow public to have some fun in front of his office. With that he can get a bird's eye view of the people's mood. If the people there are unhappy, then he will know that his policies are somewhat weird, if the people are happy, then okay~ proceed with the policy! So it's like a test drive thingy...

Tourist : Why are there telephone booths around the plaza area? What in the world?
Tour Leader : It is not weird at all, Malaysia is a unique country. We love fusing stuff together in order to innovate and introduce new technologies to the world! We have this phone booth in the middle of no where which will be a good idea in the eyes of the world, and after all since they already built a pole, might as well stuff in a public telephone.... you wouldn't wanna miss a chance of making money aren't ya.

Tourist : Oh my god, what creature is that?
Tour Leader : Do not worry, there is nothing to be afriad of! That is called the Dugong Putra which can only be found in Putrajaya and it is also part of the beautification plan of Putrajaya. Because you know, before Putrajaya was created, it was a Palm Estate. After they chop off the trees, they found that they have chased the wild animals away. So, they initiated a project to CREATE a new species which is the Dugong Putra to balance up the food chain. Why? Because no animal would wanna live here, it's so blazing hot and concrety which doesn't feels like the good ol' forest. Don't worry, it doesn't bite, it feeds on water only. Ain't it something cute?? (I can't imagine how much money was spent on that...) err.. okay moving on..

Tourist : Is that boat ride part of our program? I really wish it would be... can we have a ride on it?
Tour Leader : No No! It's not included... and even if you want to, it is not encouraged! The boat ride itself costs RM100 per head for a round trip around the city. Imagine what can you see on a man made lake? Nothing but man made fishes, like the Dugong Putra. Plus it is just the same anywhere at all? I think the bus ride will do you just good! Don't even think about it, even if you are disturbed...

Tourist : That bridge is really eccentric and ornate.. but what does it actually reflects? Particularly any Malaysian culture?
Tour Guide : I really got no idea at all... futuristic you may say, perhaps to reflect that we Malaysians are producing more and more robots(graduates) for our future generation?

*This article of "Crewness Travel Tour : Putrajaya" is merely a satire. Putrajaya is Malaysia's vibrant administative capital, for the serious stuff check out wikipedia.

Hello 2009 for Final Conflict

2009-01-01T02:30:00.000-08:00

It's a new year, welcome to 2009!
and brace yourself for 2009's long anticipated action packed movie, Final Conflict.

Crewness

2008-12-29T03:55:00.000-08:00

Hello there! Crewness is a blog started off by a group of 3 bringing you any latest or random tales and jokes.

This blog is not for the serious, if you are looking for facts and figures, you are out of luck!

and you better head to sites like "wikipedia" or
go to the library instead and view those dusty microfiche.

Crewness

5 Reasons Why You Wouldn't Want a Green Team in your College

Imaginary Conversation Between 2 Storywriters.

Earth Hour

Truth and Lie : Garden Lake in the City

Truth and Lie : Drug Another Day

The Razor Tooth Fairy

~~Yummy Banana WORM Bread ~~

The Day the Cars Stood Still

Valentine's Day

Meet the Jumpers

I Want You For Malaysia Army

KLIA Chain North South East West Plan Extension

Eraman

Pearl of the Dead

Peace of Insanity #001

The 99cents Store

Crewness Travel Tour : Putrajaya

Hello 2009 for Final Conflict

Crewness

Yummy Banana WORM Bread